Darkness imprisoning me, all that I see, absolute horror, I cannot live, I cannot die, trapped in myself, body my holding cell. Landmine has taken my sight, taken my speech, taken my hearing, taken my arms, taken my legs, taken my soul, left me with life in hell.
Oh, fuck. Wrong song review. I mean beer. What the fuck?
Black in black.
Man, this fucking beer reminds me of being 15 again, all playing two riffs and thinking I was going to be the next Metallica cover band, like Elastica or Aluminumica or Formica or some shit. It’s fucking blacker than Spinal Tap could ever be. All spicy with black pepper and shit, all roasty as fuck with some crazy-ass malts. I probably should have saved it for black history month. But I couldn’t, because this beer is too goddamned delicious. Seriously, fuck you if you don’t drink one right now. It’s fucking amazing and might leave you pregnant, regardless of your innerworkings.
