I decided to have breakfast for supper tonight. So to celebrate being too poor and lazy to have a real meal, I decided to crack open some of the bootleg Breakfast Stout I came across recently. (Don’t ask how I got it – honestly, it’s a little fuzzy.) But I didn’t have any cold. So I threw that shit in the freezer.

I would drink this shit for breakfast every night and day.
There was no chance I would forget this guy like this, but I didn’t figure I would get any frosties in my bottle, what with it being a bigass stout brewed with coffee and chocolate and chicanery, et al. It all came down to what my buddy the Gurgling Cod calls “old and cold.” You see, this beer has lost its mojo. That’s carbonation in the beer world. So, this accidental freezing bullshit actually helped build a nice little icy “head” that floated all the way down to the bottom. Old and cold is coffee from the night before, thrown in a jar and refrigerated like a motherfucker.
Chocolaty and smooth, this badass stout complimented the holy shit out of my English muffin and poblano-pepper-jack eggs. Shit is rich like a bitch, all bitter and slightly sweet like a goodass chocolate bar from Germany or Switzerplace or wherethefuckever they make goodass chocolate. Get yourself some, if you can.
That being said, FOUNDERS GET THE FUCK BACK IN MY STATE, BITCHES!


