Shit my Id says
I wanted to anthologize my drunken twitter comments that made me laugh when I actually got to read them the next day/week/month…when I saw them retweeted by others.
Jesus fucking Christ, Rachel Ray has branded dog food. Bet that’s what that bitch eats anyway. 10/28/10
Shopping in the videogame store lets me regain my virginity vicariously through the dorks just hanging out. 12/21/10
Good thing I went running to burn off that beer and pretzel I had while out running. 12/27/10
Hungover again. I gotta stop waking up so fucking much. 12/28/10
Fuck this place. Just farted in a crowd and it smelled like Terry Sciavo’s vagina. #carolinaalehouse 1/19/11
All good recipes start with whiskey. In a glass. In my hand. 2/7/11
Can I buy you a drink? I seem to have knocked yours over with my boner. #pickuplinesfromlastnight 2/19/11
Bottle of red, bottle of white, feed her both of these and I’ll get laid tonight. 3/10/11
About to drink myself colorblind. 3/11/11
It’s great to have herpes in your life. 3/16/11
Live hard. Liver harder.3/28/11
Good idea: poaching eggs. Bad idea: eating said eggs on a sandwich when you have a full beard. Looks like I just blew Pac-man. 4/15/11
Also I need to croudsource some ideas for new hate crimes to accomplish while I’m on the wagon. Time to cross a few off the old bucket list. 4/21/11
Sometimes reading beer advocate makes me wish I didn’t like beer. Or living. 4/28/11
I like my beer like I like my women – full-bodied, cold and bitter. 5/21/11
So, since the rapture happened, does that mean all you tweetin’ chicks are bad girls? #partyatmyplace 5/21/11
