The educational branch of itsafuckingbeer has released its first video instructional volume. It’s a simple, easy-to-follow tutorial on making mead, a tasty, inbred cousin of beer. See below.
Please let us know if you have any questions or comments on our procedure. And feel free to suck my dick if you disagree with anything. Even though we’re fucking amateurs over here. My mead speaks for itself, though.
Itsmyfuckingmead, asswipe. Drink it!
Well, the piss didn’t actually originate in me, but I own it. Some bees pissed in a box in this dude’s yard, and he brought it to me in mason jars. I added some fruit and spices and bread yeast (no shit, as seen here), and it turned into something that burns when you drink it. Which is different from my own personal piss in that mine burns on the way out instead of the way in.
I’m here at the Fightin’ Monkey brewery recording the day’s events as one Brewmaster Bobby, sortof like Jesus, turns water (and other things) into an Oud Bruin. We’re also trying a few of Bobby’s past incantations to help the world be a fucking happier place.
Weighing the motherfucking grains!
Bobby used about 17.5 lbs. of grain for a 5-gallon batch. Gonna be some good fucking shit once science happens.
(This is mostly gonna be a fucking photo essay, with a ton of extra photos in the gallery.)
Brewmaster Bobby, making water.
For the newcomers out there, beer is a liquid, like water. It’s fucking incredible, this modern technology. Gotta heat that shit up to about 160 degrees F before pouring onto the grains for mashing.
Using gravity to pass grains into the grinder!
Here we are using ancient technology to make the grains usable. That’s fucking force, people.
Check this shit out, y’all. A few months ago, Brian from Untamed Beer and I decided to make a Cinéma vérité-styled cooking show. Except it was going to be about homebrewing. Rad, huh? Except when you just let the camera run and run and don’t cut out the fluff, most internet people stop watching (especially if there’s no nudity). The original ran about 27 minutes in three parts. It hasn’t gone viral yet.
So I cut that fucker down to under ten minutes and added some fucking pizazz for the masses. And this is what we now have:
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